I've noticed lately my focus has kind of scattered to life away from Second Life, certainly an interesting route. It hasn't even been a "recent" thing either I think over time I've just outgrown my need for it. Social interaction hasn't always been a big thing and I know I have no confidence but maybe a little adventure into the world is a good thing. School has been kind of deadening emotionally and work is always a struggle but I know I'll be alright. I have the tools and the will to survive. I'm coming close to the end of the school year so I'll be on more often then, when not working, but it's still nice to get away for a while. I want to start using this particular blog for my writing and my poetry I suppose. I haven't written a story in so long and I guess I miss it. I miss being less weighed down by responsibility and full of energy and hyper activity. I can't remember the last time I gushed about something and genuinely meant it. Friends have left me over time, which is always sad, and I've reverted back into my hermit ways relying only on my sister and what few friends we're both able to hold on to. I learned this year how the world just likes to pull me up only to throw me down and for that I'm grateful. It taught me the lesson Lainey used to try to teach me. Don't Trust Anyone. I don't want to live that way but that's just where I'm at right now. I hope all of that makes sense. I hope that people can take something positive from what I'm saying and think "Oh, she's alright," because even though I feel detached from life at the moment I'm still living it, even if grudgingly. Maybe some day I'll be back to my carefree nature but for now I'm too busy trying to be an adult about life and struggle through it.
These are my thoughts for today...
Ishi
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