Time flies

I decided that I should finally look at this blog again. It's been so long since I wrote in it I feel like in some ways that person wasn't me. I've let so much slide on Second Life, and sometimes in RL as well. I've coasted along looking for something to give me passion again and I'm not sure I'll find that but I do know RL has given me some focus and some stress. I do miss the people I speak to on occasion.

I miss the ones I don't. I really wonder if she knows I still think of her with her RL birthday coming up, that I still worry for her. I promised myself when she and I stopped talking that it would be for the last time. That that was it. Before I knew it a year had passed. I missed her birthday, she missed my 21st. Christmas went by, another is coming soon. I still have the bracelet I told myself I would mail her tucked away in my desk, gathering dust. I still wonder if my loved ones even see me when I'm there. Or maybe its me who doesn't see them. Life plays funny games like that. 

My 5th year of Ishimaru Kohime being active is coming this February. That's such a long time and now I'm barely even on SL. I'm finishing my Associates in May. I'm moving on to a 4 Year University.  I'm struggling through life like everyone else does. Trying to make ends meet, trying to survive. I watch the news sometimes and it baffles me how much people have taken for granted. 

Time has flown by me so fast I blinked and suddenly Spring Semester of my final year of my Associates is here. I'm 21, still living at home, still drawing, still dreaming. At least one dream may come true. Yasa and I are going to meet in May, at long last. She's coming up here to "hell's freezer" as I jokingly call it and going to watch me get my diploma. We've known each other 4 years this Christmas. My mind is still baffled as to how she and I have stuck together so long. Through hardships and fun. I don't think I've ever had a friend who's lasted as long as her. It's nice because she knows me inside out and doesn't think horribly of me, or any of that. It's the same for me. 

I think if I do make a New Years Resolution this year it will be to change myself a little. I don't feel like I'm quite *there* yet. I'm trying though. :) 

Anime Boston!

Day one is done! Spent more money than I wanted to but its ok. I have all the things I want/need. Bought some things for the sister and Chelsey and lots of things for myself. haha. the rest of the con will be about food. I'm so happy and wired right now because I finally got to go hear my first live jrock concert. Girugamesh has always been my 2nd favorite band (Dir En Grey being the FIRST jrock band I've ever heard therefore will always remain number 1 in my heart) and this concert did not disappoint. I was seriously blown away by the whole thing. I have pictures and a video on my facebook for anyone interested that has it. :)

For now I'm gonna kick back in the hotel lobby on their wifi and relax so good night all! :)

<3

News with me :)

I'm enjoying life a teeny bit more which is always a great thing! I miss being able to lounge around an entire weekend and just glue myself to a good book but some how I manage to squeeze a few hours of that in haha. Not a whole lot going on really other than spring break which will be over this Sunday. :( 

I wish this freakin snow would go away thats for sure! It's making me down right grouchy. I'm doing well besides that with school and other things. I'm still very nervous about my grades but that's just how it's always going to be I'll always worry I'm setting myself up to fail. I do miss being able to speak to everyone more but I'm hoping to fix that in the future.

I'm trying to save up whatever money I can to go see my amazing friend Monique whom most of the people I speak to know as Yasayuki on Second Life. I told myself years ago she would be the first person I meet in real life long before anyone else. She's been such a vital part of my growth as a person and some day I hope to escape our parental situations with her. Being an adult and still living at home with your dad BLOWS let me tell you. Hopefully get the damn license soon. The beautiful BFF/Sister/idkwtf else, Chelsey has graciously offered to donate her car as long as I don't wreck it haha... 

Anyway that's my news for the day so I say oyasumi nasai for now!

<3

Noticing a Trend

I've noticed lately my focus has kind of scattered to life away from Second Life, certainly an interesting route. It hasn't even been a "recent" thing either I think over time I've just outgrown my need for it. Social interaction hasn't always been a big thing and I know I have no confidence but maybe a little adventure into the world is a good thing. School has been kind of deadening emotionally and work is always a struggle but I know I'll be alright. I have the tools and the will to survive. I'm coming close to the end of the school year so I'll be on more often then, when not working, but it's still nice to get away for a while. I want to start using this particular blog for my writing and my poetry I suppose. I haven't written a story in so long and I guess I miss it. I miss being less weighed down by responsibility and full of energy and hyper activity. I can't remember the last time I gushed about something and genuinely meant it. Friends have left me over time, which is always sad, and I've reverted back into my hermit ways relying only on my sister and what few friends we're both able to hold on to. I learned this year how the world just likes to pull me up only to throw me down and for that I'm grateful. It taught me the lesson Lainey used to try to teach me. Don't Trust Anyone. I don't want to live that way but that's just where I'm at right now. I hope all of that makes sense. I hope that people can take something positive from what I'm saying and think "Oh, she's alright," because even though I feel detached from life at the moment I'm still living it, even if grudgingly. Maybe some day I'll be back to my carefree nature but for now I'm too busy trying to be an adult about life and struggle through it.

These are my thoughts for today...

Ishi

Djing is Love :3

It's been a bit since I've been able to DJ. I had a few technical/hardware issues before I could fully jump back in (First I had to do a complete system restore and then my monitor died o.O) but I'm finally back in the game! Definitely enjoying my set :) some pictures for everyone bellow! :3

Me, Migg, Kath and Croon Left to Right

Boss lady Katherine! <3

Hostie Croon! <3

See you next week for another set!!

Mata Ne!

Ishi 石

Late Night/ Early Morning Boredom :3

Just got done my History of Mass Communications homework about an hour ago and I've been sitting here listening to drunk people running down the halls and Paramore blaring in my headphones for entertainment. I accidentally read the wrong blog post before going back to my assignment and making sure what I was reading was right, which it wasn't. The homework assignment was about Photojournalism and the photo manipulation controversy that surrounds most government bodies and any major wars we might have (For example the War on Terrorism) I found the articles really enlightening and I really hope I can retain enough for tomorrow but just in case I'll probably skim first thing in the morning and grab bits to remember before class. Anyway back on the topic of drunken floor mates and the accidentally read article which actually relates to them quite well. It was about this whole theory of how stupid people don't actually realize they're stupid and it was about how we as human beings would LIKE to know all that we need to know. But often times we do not. A good reference of the article was "unknown unknowns" A quote from a speech by Rumsfeld a government official who was talking about what we know/don't know about the War. How do we KNOW we don't know something. We don't know it so it doesn't exist? Nope not true. We only have "known unknowns" things we know we don't know. Although I think Rumsfeld was just trying to cover himself with confusing statements I still think its nice he admitted he had no clue what was going on. lol..

Anyway XD that was all my enlightning stuff for the day along with a run down of my night. I'll see about posting links to the parts of the accidentally read article another time but for now off to bed for me to recover from the stomach flu yay! *pumps myself with drugs* XD

Mata Ne!
Ishi 石

瞬間だった

Wow my last blog post was ages ago! Some stuff has changed since then for sure. I spend a lot of my time doing stuff irl instead of on SL which is ok because school is a pain and I gotta get it done. SL will be there when I'm done. I haven't been DJing for ages *hears the collective gasp from people* and I've actually been enjoying not having to bust my butt for money lately. In SL anyway lol. Currently enjoying my winter break by playing lots of video games and doing some reading and I'm loving the time to myself. Sometimes its nice to take a step away from the world and just sink into a good book. :)

Maybe I'll be back to djing soon in the new year but i dont know for sure yet. I am still downloading tons and tons of music and loving my life a little more.

Here's to a great new year ahead!

Mata ne
Ishi 石